Expectations

I struggle with this idea of expectations. Are they my expectations or are they the expectations someone has handed off to me? Do I know why I am expecting? Are they fair expectations? Should I even have expectations? What are healthy expectations? What happens when it doesn't meet my expectations?

Those are just a few of the reasons I struggle with this idea. I guess I'm not sure how to properly set expectations. In all honesty it works out best when something goes beyond your expectations. I guess the hardest thing is not to set the expectations out of selfish interest or desires, then why are we setting them in the first place? This gets very confusing and frustrating.

Have you heard people say that you should pray expectantly? I remember the first time I heard someone say that, I was taken back. I wasn't sure how I felt about and I still do not know where I land on this idea. My common sense tells me that you will get an answer to the prayer, so I guess my question would be "do my expectations of the prayer matter?" The only way I think this is yes is if you do not expect it to be answered.

I am getting ready to go to a yearly training for work and my expectations are that it is going to be a waste of time, just like every year. Now having said that, if my expectations were high my attitude would be different. I would be much more excited about it. Maybe that's it.... If we have good expectations of something we will have a much better attitude regarding it. I mean I accepted Jesus as my Savior and I expect to go to heaven.... I guess what would be the point if I didn't expect that. Wow! This is making a little more sense to me. But Jesus tell us that would happen.... I here year after year that "things will be different this year" at work, but unfortunately it isn't. Profit always rules people.... Always.... OK I just go on where I got off?

I guess my human nature tells me to have expectations, but we are told in the Bible that our human nature leads to sin. How many times have you heard "that is just human nature". Most of the time we or they are trying to explain something away. So I still struggle with expectations... Is just human nature or should we have them?

My expectations for my car are to start everyday as long as I take care of it. I expect my faith to grow as I spend more and more time studying, praying, with God, etc. I expect my wife to be with me in good times and in bad. I expect this computer to work properly. I expect to have to pay my mortgage each and every month. I expect the sun to come up everyday. I could go on and on, but these are almost unwritten expectations. What about relationships, ministries, Churches, jobs, health, emotions and all other things we do not have control over, but yet we put expectations on them.... Why? Human nature or are we letting the enemy in?

God I pray that you help us with our expectations..... I expect and answer..... Amen.

I can't hear...

I was having a conversation with my wife the other day and we were talking about how God talks to people. We know of this person who hears from God in a very powerful way and she knows it. This person has shared some of the things she knew or heard from God before they happened and it just blows you away.

Now this same person has helped me with my listening skills. I know for me I am easily drawn to only try to listen to the "big things" of God and so often miss the little things. I am learning that it is the little things that matter... But anyway my wife and I were talking about this and my wife says "I don't think God will use me" and "I don't think God speaks to me". I knew where she was coming from, I have been there.

I think too often people who want to hear from God, just do not know how to listen. I mean unless you are a believer it doesn't make any sense. OK you are going to listen to what? Think about it. If you do not believe in God it sounds pretty silly. But, if you do believe if feels silly... At first when you find time to sit and listen, you do not even know what it is you should be listening for. Your mind just starts racing and you think of everything you have done for the day and everything you need to do, or everything you could have done, or everything that people want you to do, the list goes on and on. If you can get your mind to quiet down you think OK God speak.... Then you come to the place where you say "I can't hear".

Have you been there? It isn't a place you want to vacation. When you are there you feel lost and confused as to why you can't hear. You start to wonder what it is you have done or why other people hear and not you. Then if you are anything like me you start to compare yourself to other people, this is destructive... We must not compare ourselves to others we must compare ourselves to God. But that is a totally different subject matter.

OK so you can't hear. But I say you do hear but your not listening. God speaks to everybody differently. Here are just a few ways God may have spoken to you and you missed it. Have you ever had this deep feeling inside that you needed to do something, but it didn't make a whole lot of sense to you personally? This could be God speaking, do you want to know if it is? Then do it. You may know right away or you may never know. But if you feel good about it chances are it was God. Just remember God is love so if it doesn't promote love then don't do it. OK, have you ever been spaced out or just day dreaming and get some really good ideas about life. Or get this idea that you need to have certain conversations with people. Again this could be God telling you to reach out to someone or make amends with someone. Do you know how you find out? You got it, do it. Have you ever been thinking about something and then find yourself reading and the same thing comes up, or have a conversation with someone and they say the same thing you were thinking. This could be a confirmation from God regarding that. Do you want to know how to find out? I think you know the answer.... Do it.

Ok so you can hear... I SAID YOU CAN HEAR! I couldn't resist, sorry. I just want to caution you to remember that God is love and HE will speak to you in that way. If you think you hear something that is going to bring pain to you or someone else it isn't God. That doesn't mean it will be easy. Sometimes God may be telling you to tell something that brings up some bad memories for you, but God may be wanting you to reach out to someone that is going through the samething or HE may be wanting to help heal you of you loss or pain. Just keep that in mind as you listen to what God has to say.

God I pray that as we continue to listen to you, that we will find the courage to seek the answers and do it. I pray that in those moments we can learn more about who YOU are and who YOU are calling us to be. God help us to become more familiar with YOUR voice so that we can be like our friend and just know it. In Jesus name, Amen.

The road less traveled....

If you are a believer I'm sure you have heard about "the road less traveled". I have often wondered what the true meaning was...

I am at this place in my life where I am just walking and I have now found myself heading in a direction in which I'm not sure where it will take me. As I look down I can see what seems to be a road.... I instantly think "it's the road less traveled". But what does that mean? I'm sure other people are trying to follow where they feel God is calling them. I'm sure other people are heading down similar roads. I'm sure there has a been at least one person down this road... Right?

That is when God spoke to me. It was in that moment I knew what "the road less traveled" meant. It is the road that God is calling you to. Your the only one HE designed the road for. It is your road, meant for your gifts, callings, spirit, love, determination, etc... That is why is so overgrown. That is why most people don't even find it. It is because in order for you to continue on your journey down that path you have to start clearing the way. God gives you all you need in order to start clearing, but like anytime you start tearing stuff out you will find times when you injure yourself. It is only normal to occasionally get stuck with a thorn, or hit your head on a branch. There could even be times when you really do some damage and have to push yourself to keep on keeping on...

As I look at my road I am wondering how far I have gone down the road? I wonder if I am just starting or if I have been clearing awhile? I wonder if there will be some areas of clearing where this journey will be easier? I am learning that as a cut away I feel some joy in accomplishment. I am actually working toward a goal and making some progress. I am also learning that if there will be some clearing that the road will always have areas that are going to be thick, I know that it will be in those times I am going to have to reach deep inside and trust that God has my best interest at heart.

So where are you on your journey? Are you on the road that is less traveled or have you passed up the road because of the work that it involves? Have you started down the road and turned back because you found a place that was so overgrown that you gave up? I wonder if you pass it up if God will put that same road in front of you as you continue your journey? I wonder if it will always be the same road and until you start the cutting you won't find out that HE has some areas of beauty and rest. A place to enjoy HIS glory on the way to your calling....

God I pray that I don't try to use my tools to clear the road. I pray that I use the tools that you put in my hand and rely on your power instead of my strengths. I pray that as I get bumped and bruised along the way that I can find your glory and those moments. I also pray for those people who are afraid to start the clearing for fear of what they might find. God give them strength to start clearing, Amen.

How's your heart?

How's your heart? Sounds like a weird question at first, until you understand it's meaning. I had a friend ask me that question and I had to take a quick second to think about my heart.... I feel like it is in good shape, not physically but spiritually.

So this one question has me thinking about where my heart is. If I had to think about it is it really where I want it to be? Is it in as good a shape as I think? Am I even aware of my heart as the day goes by? How much damage is their that I do not even realize? What can I do to get my heart pounding for God? What am I doing to kill it? What am I allowing to get to my heart that I shouldn't be? Who or what am I allowing my heart to hear? These are just some of the questions that I am starting to think about...

I know for me it is very easy to get caught up in life. It is so easy to let day after day run into each other and before you know it a month has gone by and you haven't really even done anything. I'm pretty sure that isn't how God designed us, I mean to just sit around or get in this routine of getting little or nothing accomplished. I think if your heart flat lines, as my friend was talking about, then you find yourself in Luke warm water.... God doesn't call us to Luke warm. I mean I heard it explained this way once... "If you put a frog in boiling hot water it will instantly jump out of the water, but if you put the frog in Luke warm water and slowly turn the temperature up the frog will not realize the slow temperature rising and it will eventually kill it". I think the same can be said for our spirit. I can't think of a single story in the Bible where God put a slow rising spirit on someone, can you? When God pours out his spirit it is red hot. I mean you have no chose but be put into action. You have to jump out of the water and act.

As I think about that action I don't think it is having so much energy that you don't know how to control it. I do not think God pours out HIS spirit for us to run around with no agenda. I think it is just excitement for HIM and HIS work. I mean I think God puts in us such a desire to move toward HIM that before we know it we have made a considerable move without even knowing it. Now in relationship to your heart..... When your heart is flat lined or cold it is the same as Luke warm as I mentioned before. When Gods spirit is poured out then it is alive and pumping with life. You find that you have so much more energy and compassion. Your outlook on life is positive and you have so much more to offer people, more patience, peace, love, gentleness.... All the fruits of the spirit.

I guess what this one questions is helping me with is to always be aware of where my heart is. Without it you can't use your gifts or passions that God has given you. You will only be able to fake it for so long before people will be able to see through that. So my question for you is the same as it was for me.... How's your heart?

God I pray that my heart is always full of your spirit. I do not want to flat line.... God help me be always aware of my heart, help me only hear what you want me to hear, help me pour out what you are pouring into me. You say to always be filled with the spirit, so I am going to pour out what you give me so that I can always be refilled. I just ask for your help in doing that, Amen.

Your will or mine?

I recently received an email that had a simple question, but has the biggest meaning... "How do I know if it is God's will or mine?". Now this particular question was in regards to something much more specific, but that was the general question. So it really got me thinking about that.

How do I know? I mean I believe that God put in us a passion to do HIS work. I believe God gifts us to accomplish this. I believe that HIS call on our life is real. I often wonder if the passion I feel for God and the call I think I hear is God's. I mean they both line up with some of the things that God has for people, but I often wonder if it is something that I want or what God wants for me...

I was once told that as long as we are after God's heart and pursuing HIS will then we can't go wrong. I truly believe that, but that doesn't always mean it is where God is calling you. It just means that HE will teach us something in those moments. I know what I feel God is calling me to do and sometimes it is so clear to me, sometimes I think there is no way I could miss it. HE is almost telling me in person it is so clear. Other times I think it is all me... I think it is because I enjoy it so much... It is almost as if I don't believe that God would have me do something that I would enjoy. Now that sounds pretty stupid...

I want to teach and preach God's word. It is way more responsibility than I can handle on my own. It is one of the scariest things someone could do for God's kingdom. I mean what if you teach it wrong.... Anyway, I want to get up infront of people to challenge them to look into the person of Jesus, to examine what it is that keeps them coming back. What is it about this Jesus that changes peoples lives. I want to stretch people to go deeper in there walk. I want to help those that need help. I want to be used by God to tell people how much HE loves them, that would be an amazing honor.

That brings me back full circle.... How do I know it is God's will and not mine? I think my answer is I don't. I don't think we know until we try it. I think we need to pray with a pure motive and do the things we think God is calling us to do, for HIM and not for our own selfish desires. I can not let my ego get involved. What about you? Where do you think God is calling you and what is holding you back? I would only say take the first step and God will start the car... All you will have to do is get in and HE will do all the driving. Think about that... Riding shot gun in a car with Jesus... He knows the way to your passions, gifts, desires, etc. I would bet that HE will ask you which way you want to turn though. HE will not force himself on you, so although HE will be driving be ready to say right or left and enjoy the ride.

God I pray that I will continue to search YOU and not me. I want to do your work for YOU and not my own selfish desires. God please help me with my decisions to turn left or right and in the meantime I will keeping stepping out on faith, Amen.

Choices.....

I have been thinking about the choices I have made, will make, want to make, don't want to make... Just choices. I have come to think of life as this endless road of choices. I mean isn't that what it really is? Everyday you have choices, some of which are small and some are life changing. Everyday you chose to get out of bed, go to work, drive, what you eat, what you watch on TV, etc... The list goes on and on.

OK this life is full of choices, what does that really mean? I don't know... I think it is very interesting to think of the beginning. I mean of the Bible... Adam and Eve. They chose to eat of the forbidden fruit and we all know what happened after that. Now we live in a life of sin and that means every choice we make is either for God or against HIM. Every choice. Every choice. Every choice. As I write that it puts it in perspective of how important our choices are.

OK if every choice is for or against God, why do I struggle with my choices? It should be easy. I know for me I don't consider God when I make most of my choices. If I'm honest it is a rare occasion when I do think about God when making a choice. Why though? Why don't I put God in front of all of my choices? Why don't I seek God with my decisions?

If you have ever read much of the Bible Jesus tells us over and over the way HE wants us to live. Over and over HE says don't live this way.... But live this way.... Over and over HE tells us of how HE knew us before we were born. HE also tells us of the love HE has for us. OK now I know that is deep, but again I find it interesting that we can only experience this love with a choice. That is all that is required, a choice.

The choices we make during the day have potential to affect not only your life, but the life of people you know. Those same choices could affect people you may never know. I think the first thing for me to realize is that even the simplest of choices are still choices for or against God. I need to start with the choice here and now of making the first choice for HIM.

God I pray that I can seek your understanding as I make the first of many choices on this endless road of choices.... Called life. I want each turn (choice) that I make to be more and more exciting. As I travel the road of my life I pray that it is more beautiful than the last turn, I want it to be easier to make the turns even in bad situations. God I want to live my life for you and I pray that my choices glorify YOU. In Jesus name, Amen.

Sad but True....

The beginning of this is truly going to be sad, but unfortunately true. I have been a life long Bengals fan..... Really for life. I have always loved them, I have always let it be known and I have always been frustrated, except the only Super Bowl I remember them in. But even then I was disappointed. All that to say this.... I didn't realize how obsessed I am with them until this year. This year has been an unbelievable ride. We won our division and hosted our first playoff game in 15 years.... The atmosphere at the stadium was unreal, I truly lost my voice before the end of the first quarter. Well I am sure you know where I am about to go with this so here it goes.

I am at the stadium living a dream and I realize on our second offensive play that it isn't a dream it is a nightmare... Arguably one of the top 2 quarterbacks in the league gets taken out and not to return, maybe never. It was then that I knew how stupidly passionate I was for my Bengals. If at home I most likely break down and cry... Honestly. OK stay with me... But as the days went on I felt this true hatred to all steeler fans, I mean all of them. Then the news comes out the injury is worst than they thought and this same injury has ended careers. I was at home and was instantly depressed, again honestly. I could very well have broken down it tears, but I knew that this is what happens to us Bengal fans. Again honestly....

Well as you can imagine I have spent way too much time thinking and praying about this whole situation. Really way too much time. Well as you can imagine at some point I allowed God to have his say... He said "why don't you think and/or pray about me that much". When you hear that it isn't the easiest thing to deal with. Especially because it is true.

It has really made me look deep down and ask the reasons why. What is it that I do not put this much effort into my CREATOR? I mean Carson is a man.... That is it when you think about it. Just a man. They say that when guilt pushes you to change then it is from God, but when guilt turns into shame it is from the devil. Well I know God didn't do this so that I would take HIM more seriously, but I do. I mean I haven't thought about God this much in this little amount of time in a really long time. Sad but True....

So I am now still praying that Carson will recover and be Carson Palmer, but I am more importantly praying that I continue to grow closer to God. I want to think about him as much as I have been thinking about Carson and the Bengals this past week. Again it is sad but true, but if I think about God that much my spiritual life would be amazing. On a scale that isn't even measurable. Scary to me.... I told you "Sad but True". God help me with that, in Jesus name Amen.

Fresh Start....

As I look at the year ahead, like most years I see areas that I want to improve. I also see challenges in front of me that I must meet head on. Unlike other years I know that this year will affect the rest of my life. Just thinking of that brings both joy and fear....

This year I will be starting a school for Ministry that I hope leads to a career. I know that if I do not take it serious enough this dream that I feel God has given me will not come true. I also know this year we hope to sell our house and move into a house that will be home for the next 20 to 30 years, this also brings it's own challenge to find the correct house that will fit our needs now and the future. My wife and I are also trying to have another baby in the midst of all of this and of course that would bring the total to three, we know that another little one will change our life forever.

Now in addition to all of this I get the privilege to give a talk about "How God Guides Us". This again if done well could only help me in my next career, but if done poorly..... That thought brings more fear than joy. Now with the upcoming schooling that I will be doing I know that it will open myself up not only to God but the enemy as well. There will be plenty of areas for the enemy to sneak in especially in times that I will need to study and spend with God.

As I think about the upcoming year I know just like all other years I will find away to get through it. I know that there will ups and downs. I know that I will need to rely on God more than ever this year and less on myself. I will need to remember the "Fresh Start" that I have is because of God, not because of a new year.

When I think of a "Fresh Start" in my own vision I try and think of the areas that will be hard and what will be easy. But God gives me a "Fresh Start" each and everyday and it is only when I think in that mind set that life becomes much easier. The Bible tells us in the book of James to "not worry about tomorrow for today brings enough worries" (my paraphrase). Basically take it one day at a time. Everyday I need to remind myself that if I do everything I can to the best of my God given ability I will have nothing to worry about. If at the end of the day the best I have to offer isn't enough I can live with that. But it is only when I just go through the motions and fail that I reflect and think what if....

God I want to thank you for all the "Fresh Starts" you offer. YOU tell us in your word that when we repent our sins are tossed as far as the east is from the west. I thank you that you allow me to do your work even in times that I do not give my best effort. I pray that as I look to you more and rely on myself less that I will be able to do much greater things. I pray that I take to time to ask for a "Fresh Start". In Jesus name, Amen.