Sad but True....
The beginning of this is truly going to be sad, but unfortunately true. I have been a life long Bengals fan..... Really for life. I have always loved them, I have always let it be known and I have always been frustrated, except the only Super Bowl I remember them in. But even then I was disappointed. All that to say this.... I didn't realize how obsessed I am with them until this year. This year has been an unbelievable ride. We won our division and hosted our first playoff game in 15 years.... The atmosphere at the stadium was unreal, I truly lost my voice before the end of the first quarter. Well I am sure you know where I am about to go with this so here it goes.
I am at the stadium living a dream and I realize on our second offensive play that it isn't a dream it is a nightmare... Arguably one of the top 2 quarterbacks in the league gets taken out and not to return, maybe never. It was then that I knew how stupidly passionate I was for my Bengals. If at home I most likely break down and cry... Honestly. OK stay with me... But as the days went on I felt this true hatred to all steeler fans, I mean all of them. Then the news comes out the injury is worst than they thought and this same injury has ended careers. I was at home and was instantly depressed, again honestly. I could very well have broken down it tears, but I knew that this is what happens to us Bengal fans. Again honestly....
Well as you can imagine I have spent way too much time thinking and praying about this whole situation. Really way too much time. Well as you can imagine at some point I allowed God to have his say... He said "why don't you think and/or pray about me that much". When you hear that it isn't the easiest thing to deal with. Especially because it is true.
It has really made me look deep down and ask the reasons why. What is it that I do not put this much effort into my CREATOR? I mean Carson is a man.... That is it when you think about it. Just a man. They say that when guilt pushes you to change then it is from God, but when guilt turns into shame it is from the devil. Well I know God didn't do this so that I would take HIM more seriously, but I do. I mean I haven't thought about God this much in this little amount of time in a really long time. Sad but True....
So I am now still praying that Carson will recover and be Carson Palmer, but I am more importantly praying that I continue to grow closer to God. I want to think about him as much as I have been thinking about Carson and the Bengals this past week. Again it is sad but true, but if I think about God that much my spiritual life would be amazing. On a scale that isn't even measurable. Scary to me.... I told you "Sad but True". God help me with that, in Jesus name Amen.
I am at the stadium living a dream and I realize on our second offensive play that it isn't a dream it is a nightmare... Arguably one of the top 2 quarterbacks in the league gets taken out and not to return, maybe never. It was then that I knew how stupidly passionate I was for my Bengals. If at home I most likely break down and cry... Honestly. OK stay with me... But as the days went on I felt this true hatred to all steeler fans, I mean all of them. Then the news comes out the injury is worst than they thought and this same injury has ended careers. I was at home and was instantly depressed, again honestly. I could very well have broken down it tears, but I knew that this is what happens to us Bengal fans. Again honestly....
Well as you can imagine I have spent way too much time thinking and praying about this whole situation. Really way too much time. Well as you can imagine at some point I allowed God to have his say... He said "why don't you think and/or pray about me that much". When you hear that it isn't the easiest thing to deal with. Especially because it is true.
It has really made me look deep down and ask the reasons why. What is it that I do not put this much effort into my CREATOR? I mean Carson is a man.... That is it when you think about it. Just a man. They say that when guilt pushes you to change then it is from God, but when guilt turns into shame it is from the devil. Well I know God didn't do this so that I would take HIM more seriously, but I do. I mean I haven't thought about God this much in this little amount of time in a really long time. Sad but True....
So I am now still praying that Carson will recover and be Carson Palmer, but I am more importantly praying that I continue to grow closer to God. I want to think about him as much as I have been thinking about Carson and the Bengals this past week. Again it is sad but true, but if I think about God that much my spiritual life would be amazing. On a scale that isn't even measurable. Scary to me.... I told you "Sad but True". God help me with that, in Jesus name Amen.
posted by Andy Rainey at Friday, January 13, 2006
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