What are they hiding?

I was having a conversation the other day with a few people and I was asking them if they journal. They answered as I expected them with a no. I tried to encourage them to start and even suggested they start a blog, they said "no way". They went on to say they would never put the thought they have in a blog so that everyone could read it.

I wonder why? What are they afraid of? What are they hiding? I wonder why people are so afraid of what we think of their feelings? Honestly if anyone reads this or not it is more for me than for the person that is reading it... Make sense? These are my thoughts...

My thoughts are mine..... Not anyone else's.... Tomorrow I may learn something that will totally change my view of what I am writing at this moment. I may read this a month from now (not likely, I normally do not go back and read) and think I was way off base. I may always think this way....

Why be afraid to share what going on in your life? I do want to become a man of Integrity. I do fall short, that is why my blog address is ifallshort.blogspot.com because I still have work to do (boy I hope nobody reads this...).

What are they hiding? You don't have to write about all the bad things you've done if you don't want to.

Just a thought.

Multi tasking

I went to a leadership thing last summer and I heard this speaker talking about multi tasking. When he first started with the subject I thought "I am a great multi tasker", but what I quickly learned was that multi tasking is impossible.... I know you are probable thinking just like I was that it can be done, because you are doing it. Well what the speaker goes on to say is pretty eye opening.

He says in essence that when we try to multi task we in just doing a bunch of things poorly, or one really well and the other poorly. As I heard him talk about this over the course of an hour or so I realized he was right. He gives the illustration of serving two masters... You will either love one more than the other or you will hate one and follow the other....

As I look back and reflect on my multi tasking I understand that to be true. But I am struggling with not multi tasking. I am struggling with just doing one thing until completion, then starting the next thing. It seems I have so much going on at all times that I don't have time to finish one thing at a time, but that really is just an excuse I think. I mean if we have time to work on two, three, four or maybe even five things at once then why in the world do we not have time to work on one thing until completion?

Think of it this way. Is it easier to balance three balls on your head and walk ten feet or is it easier to balance one at a time and walk ten feet. I use to say when I was in management that I am juggling a lot of balls and it is just a matter of time before one drops.... How many balls are you dropping? Why?

The answer is really pretty simple. Boundaries! We are people with very few boundaries. I know some of you are saying I have great boundaries.... Really? Do you let you yes be yes and you no be no? I would bet not. If you do then why are you juggling? We are humans and we want to be good at things and we think the more I do the better I will be.

If I were hiring someone for a particular job I would want them to be great at it, not good. Seriously think about that. How many people do you know that say I am pretty good at everything. I do not want to be that guy. I want to be OK at some things but great at others. I want to be able to say I do that OK, I'm not the best, but I am great at xyz.

How many good athletes do you know that make it to the Hall of Fame? I can't imagine a coach telling there teams "Hey we just need to be good to win the Championship". I sure they stress greatness. My favorite coach now is Marvin Lewis. He is a great motivator! He has this motto "Do Your Job". Simple yet effective. Interesting that he doesn't say do your job and anything else you think you can handle. No put all of you talent, effort, energy, passion and love into your job one play at a time. Sounds pretty easy doesn't it.

So where are you shorting yourself? What areas are you trying to multi task?

John Wooden who coached UCLA to eight straight basketball Championships use to say "a winner can only be determined by the individual, only he knows if he put everything he had into it". Now that is my paraphrased version, but the point is the same. Only you know what you are capable of and my question is still the same. Where are you shorting yourself?

God I pray that I give everything my all. I want to be able to complete each task in life with all of the talents you have given me, I know that if I do everything to the best of my ability it will Glorify you and I will have nothing to be ashamed of. If it is my best then I can't improve on that, so please help me with that, Amen.

Huh?

I am desperately trying to become a man of integrity. I think this idea of having integrity is exciting to me, but I want it to be real. I want people to think of me as a man of integrity, but I'm not seeking everyone's approval. I want it to be who I am, instead of what I'm trying to do.

OK, now this sounds a little confusing to me so I can only imagine what people think who are reading this. So let me try to explain what this means. I have you ever heard people say things like "He is trying to become a cook", or "He was going to be a lawyer". I think the same can be said about our character. I mean you either are or aren't a lawyer, the same can be said about the cook. You either like to cook or are a cook.

That is what I mean about integrity. You either have it or not. So what does the name of my blog mean? "Trying to become a man of Integrity" the title really says I don't have it.... Well not really.... You can always be a better cook or a better lawyer. I can have integrity and still need to become a man with more integrity, make sense.

Let me change gears a minute. The real reason for this post is because as I am pressing into this idea of Integrity I am hearing God's voice more and more. I have recently heard HIM say things that have me saying.... HUH? What I am hearing isn't want I would want, but I have an excitement about what HE is leading me to. I want to follow God's leading, but with integrity. I want it to be about HIM and not about me. I want to make sure it is from God, but at the same time I do not want to miss the moment. I can't just wait for God to make it happen, HE doesn't work that way. HE calls un into something and only promises HE is in it...

God I pray that I continue to pursue you with Integrity. I pray that I will be able to step into your callings with faith that it is for your glory and trust that whatever I find myself into, it will make me a better man.... A man of Integrity, Amen.

Bold

I have often thought about this idea of being Bold. I hear it a lot in Church. You need to be Bold, your faith should be Bold, I am praying for a Boldness. Most of the time I am agreeing with it. I should be more Bold, or are we really missing the point?

I was showering today (sorry about the visual) and for some reason I started thinking about when Jesus prayed for God to take away HIS death. It reads in Mark 14:36 "Abba, Father, he said (Jesus), everything is possible for you. Take this cup (Jesus death) from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will." I immediately thought "That was kind Bold."

Think about that for a moment. Jesus was asking to be saved from HIS purpose.... I immediately heard God say to me "Andy, will you be Bold for what I am calling you to do?" I of course said yes... He then said "You will need to be Bold, because it will not come easy." I said I know... Then Jesus said to me "Then ask." I said I do. Jesus said "no you don't, you only say if it is your will. I want you to ask as Jesus asked." I didn't know what HE meant at first then it hit me... God wants me to ask Boldly for what I want and HE will do his will regardless, but HE wants me to ask Boldly and with confidence. Wow! That is a big eye opener for me. It may not be for you, but it is for me.

So my question is how Bold are you in your requests from God? How Boldly do you pray? I think we miss what God wants us to be Bold about. Now I believe the things that were mentioned earlier in this blog, but I think this is an area that we often miss it.

God, I pray that we are confident in what you are calling us to and that we will be able to pray out of a Boldness and realize that your will is going to be done regardless. We do not need to pray for your will to be done, we just have to recognized that it is being done, Amen.

Lingo

I like the work lingo. I'm not sure why, maybe I like the way it sounds... lingo. Maybe it's because my Mom loves Bingo and I played Bingo as a kid with her. Maybe it is because you could use this in all areas of life. For example, the business lingo, the football lingo, the cooking lingo, the computer lingo, the Church lingo, and on and on. When I think on lingo, I think of people just using to sound like they know what they are talking about. Mostly because they feel unqualified to either talk about the subject or because they feel like they should know about the subject. Now although these two reason seem close they are very different. The unqualified is when someone comes to you with a questions (pick your own example), but you do not have enough knowledge on the subject so you use the lingo to give them what you know packaged with the lingo. Most likely you turn the question into something you have dealt with and brush by the question. Now lack of knowledge, although closely related, is when you are with a group and everybody is talking about a subject (again pick an example) and you just throw around some of the lingo to make it seem like you know what you are talking about. This mostly makes you look like an idiot.

I sometimes laugh at our need as humans to be accepted. It is humorous to watch sometimes. Our desire to be "apart" of something, to be accepted, to be liked, looked up to make us do or say some amazing things. This will also have people use the lingo in a setting to make them sound smart or important. I see this more times than not. These people saying things like "well I am trying to rebuild my 600m. It doesn't have all the memory I would like, so since I am already in their I figure why not add a USB port and upgrade my operating system." Now I am sure some of you know what all of that means, but to be honest I'm not sure you can do that? That is just some of the lingo...

OK what's my point.

I just think it is sad that we can not be honest people. Why not just say, you know what I'm not sure, or I really do not have a lot of knowledge on the subject, or I'm still learning myself. Why do we have this desire to lead or be looked up to. If you think about it we are just fellow followers. I guess it goes back to humility... How humble are you? I know I see and hear all to often of people who ask serious questions about what is going on in their life and they get the lingo. Someone might ask why am I going through this valley in my life, with all this pain or failures? The unfortunate thing about this questions is the answer they most likely might get.... God will not give you more than you can handle, or God uses everything HE will not let this pass without you learning something from it. OUCH....

Before you Bible thumpers get to excited I'm not saying that isn't true. I'm simple saying where is the Love that God talks about? God doesn't tell us to use the lingo... HE tells us to Love. Why not just humble yourself and love them. Tell them you are their for them. That they will not walk the valley alone, that if they have something they want to talk about you will listen..... That's it listen. People need to be heard, not fixed. It isn't our job to fix, it is our job to listen. When they are ready for help they will tell you.

God I pray that I do not use the lingo with people, I want to be real, honest, transparent... A man of Integrity. I pray that people will learn how to be the people you call us to be. In Jesus name Amen.

The tribe has spoken...

OK so I'm a survivors fan. But I think this is one of the best shows on TV. I love how some people come on the show and you know they have watched it before, yet they are surprised by the living conditions. I mean seriously.... Yesterday started another season and they have a older woman on a tribe that has never slept outside.... Yea never. She even was dumb enough to say to another tribe member that she was afraid of leaves... Yea that's right leaves and she is on Survivor. That isn't even the best part. Her tribe lost and she wasn't voted out? Now I agree that the tribe spoke, but it surely didn't think.

I think this show reveals a lot of what life is. I know you are probably thinking, how? Well think about it, you have a group of people, the people you allow in your life, at each tribal council the tribe votes someone off the island. The tribe speaks as they say... Now we do this in life as well. Think about how many times in our lives that we have a new person join in our tribe (life), now think about how many times after hanging out with that new person in that setting that you decide that they do not fit into that crowd. Honestly, we do this. So we find other ways to spend time with these people or do not spend time with them at all. So we allow our group or tribe speak.

OK that is extreme maybe and maybe some of you are reading this and saying I've never done that. That could be true. But I'm sure you have a group of people you hang out with that you get along with better. I would also say that you spend more time with these people, maybe when you think about going out you do not even think about calling the others. So in the same way you are voting out the others. Again I know some are saying, yea that is human nature. I agree, but is that what we are called to do?

Is that it? Just find people you enjoy spending time with, hang out with them and never spend time growing yourself be getting to know someone you normally wouldn't spend time with? Really? I agree it feels good spending time with people who have similar interest, but I it also refreshing spending time with someone who has different opinions than you. If you can have a real conversation, without arguing, you can really learn a lot about yourself and the thoughts of others.

Now this doesn't just happen with people. We do this with all areas of our life. Like money, what we wear, what we do for a living, what kind of car we drive, what music we listen to, what we watch on TV, where we live, how we dress, I could go on and on. We allow the world (tribe) speak on all of these things.... To be apart of the in crowd you should all where labeled clothing, do you know why? Because the tribe has spoken. Everyone needs to drive Volvo if you want people to think you are doing well in life, do you know why? You got it, because the tribe has spoken. So I ask you, where is the tribe speaking in your life?

I have grown a lot in this area, but still struggle with some wants now and then. OK more times then I like to admit. For me the tribe speaks in the areas of technology. Like cell phones, computers, MP3 players, digital cameras, you get the point.

God, help us listen to the only tribe that matters. The Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. That is the tribe I want to vote for me, not the tribe of the world. Help me with that... Continue to speak to me, Amen.

Don't worry... Be happy...

I just read one of those "miracle" emails. You know the kind, just forward this message to seven other people and you will receive a miracle tomorrow. If I ever open a forwarded email, which is rare, this is normally what I open. I sadly forward it on most of the time. But this time I didn't and in this email it talks about happiness. It was talking about how this older man lost his wife and he was moving into a home, they said something like welcome home and he said I love it. They were quick to let him know that they hadn't shown him his room, his response was I don't have to see how the furniture was arranged to be happy. He goes on to say that happiness is a choice we make, it shouldn't depend on the things around us. We should store up more good memories than bad.

It really struck me. Is it that easy? Can I just say "I'm happy" and that's it? I would like to think it is, but I'm the type of guy that once it starts to go wrong I say "I guess it is going to be one of those days". Know what I mean? You wake up and stub your toe, then you forget your lunch, on the way to work you get a ticket, you forget to clock in, something a work breaks, on your way home your service engine light comes on and when you get home the dog has had an "accident". So I'm suppose to be able to say "I chose to be happy" and that's it?

Now I'm sure I could have a better attitude, but happy? I know those problems would be welcomed be a lot of people in the world, but it is so easy to get caught up in my world. My world has its own problems. It is so easy to look at someone else and say "boy I wish I had their problems". I wonder why we do that? Is it because we think everyone else has it better that we do? I think it goes back to this envy thing.... I know for me it is easy to see all the good things that others have and think "man I wish I had that".

The sad part is most of the time I do not even realize I'm doing it. Now don't get me wrong I do not do this exclusively. I do find times when I am genuinely happy for whatever they have or accomplished, but it doesn't happen as much as I would like.

I am happy with my life. I truly am. I find frustration sometimes in my attitude, OK a lot of the time. I'm going to try this choice thing out.... You with me? I'll let you know how it works. The first place I'm going to use this is with my beautiful little girls. I am going to chose to handle everything with grace and with a loving tone, even when they directly disobey.... I'll definitely need to remind myself of my choice in those moments.

God I pray that I can learn to chose my attitudes better. I hope that I can learn to handle myself in a way that would glorify you and not be one of those people that people look at as a reason not to follow you. Help me accomplish this, Amen.

Irony

I think irony is both character building and hilarious. Do you remember the song "it's like a free ride, when you've already paid. Isn't it ironic, don't you think". I think it was by Alanis Morriset. I use to enjoy listening to that song. I think God has a great sense of humor and uses irony to build your character and make you laugh. Maybe I just have a twisted idea of how God sometimes speaks to me.

I think "bad luck" and Irony are sometimes mistaken. Just in the example in the song, I could see myself in that situation and say... Just my luck. I would most likely say that actually. So in that instance I wouldn't find much humor.

Just a few weeks ago I was getting ready to enjoy my winter break from work and my wife was going to start driving my car to work, so that I could use to van to drive our around our two little girls. Well my car ran fine until the morning she was going to take it and as irony would have it... it wouldn't start. Well long story short we paid to have it towed, they pulled into the shop and tapped on a few things with a wrench and of course it has ran fine ever since. It is a good thing I paid that money to tow it....

Last summer I was called by my Church about a job opportunity. I didn't apply for this position or anything. I went through five interviews for a job I never called about and the during the last set of interviews I learned that it was between me and another person. This other person from what I was told just came out of nowhere. In addition to the five interviews I took, if my memory serves me correct, I also took three on-line test. Anyway, this job that they contacted me about eventually went to the other guy. I was pretty upset and felt worthless, that I could land a job that they contacted me about. I know there isn't much irony in this story.... But, I have recently found myself in a leadership position with this person..... Now that is irony at it's best. As soon as I found out who this person was I couldn't help but laugh.

Now when I found this out a had several options. I could ask someone else to take this person, I could be resentful and not give this person proper leadership, or I laugh move on and do what I have been called to do. Well needless to say I am still laughing. Turns out he is a pretty good guy. Besides it isn't his fault I didn't get the job, I just wasn't the right fit.

I know for me most of my life I have lived in the past. I use to always think about how this could have been, but I am learning to live in the now. If something happens that I hadn't planned then I have to accept it. I really can't do anything about it. I love the irony I find in life. Don't you? I think the only healthy thing you can do in those moments is laugh and say "of course... Why not?"

God thanks for my sense of humor. I love that I find humor in sometimes uneasy positions. I think irony is a forgotten place to find great humor. Please continue to use irony as a learning tool so that I find YOU in those moments and not my selfishness, Amen.